Its been quite long since I have enjoyed anything. Almost a month, that I haven't been to real good places, close to nature...
It really felt great, as always. I was living in those four hours. I was at peace and especially floating on water made me feel even better. Well to really say, there were no feeling at all in those four hours, it was maybe more like still water experience. I felt mostly nothing, just a presence in the present.
Well I have tried to teach many how to just float on water but all find it very difficult, even in water that is just three feet deep. Its easy to succumb to fear I guess. Well, I was never taught how to float like a dead body on water. I just figured it out. It seemed easier than figuring out for the way to swim.
The voice inside my head, the Mr.Always True, as I call it from my experience, keep saying 'Let go. Just let go'. And voila! I learnt to float. It may not be a technical way to learn floating but it is one of the way.
I never understood what makes it so hard. Its so easy!! Just hold your breath and let your body completely to the water and allow it to hold you. It does, if you don't try to keep your head above the water. When you try to hold your head above the water, you sink. Just for few seconds, you submerge slightly below the surface but soon you are pushed to the surface, as if the water is holding you.
Well floating isn't the only place where to let go is essential. Many aspects of life need it. But it is definitely difficult to let go in life. Stuffs, people and most importantly the moments of the past. Even people would be forgotten, maybe after a very long time but events of the past seem to last forever, and more you try to push them away more they try to embrace you, just as the water does. The more you try to control your situation or sinking, the more you are depressed or sink deeper into water. In life of Gautam Buddha, it is recorded that deep penance of years didn't enlighten him with truth but made him more fragile and angry at times. The act of non-doing as explained by this great seer also says to let thought come and go without trying to control them.
I usually find logic a great way to overcome concrete fears, like fear of height or fear of drowning. Many times fear controls the body, and its effect are dangerous for ex. Like losing of balance when standing at a high place...
As now I am growing up as an adult I find certain kinda of laziness which eats me inside out at moments when I am idle. It is so powerful that I want to escape it without doing something else, which is impossible.
I always wonder how can I revive the small child in me, which I many times miss when I'm caught in the problems, he had dealt with them with ease. I found out now that there are only few ways to bring the enthusiasm of a small child back in this life, 1.by learning new things, 2.facing fears and 3.getting closer to nature. I won't include doing things you love because they take you to a state of trance but excitement of something new is not there.
All I now understand is life is not meant to be passed. It has to be embraced with happiness.
How or why this happiness is there is secondary. Just...
Be happy.
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