It is dusk of the rainy season. The dullness of the sky, complemented by the dark green vegetation, which is growing darker as the night approaches, has a soothing effect on the eye. The birds aren't chirping neither is the dogs howling, creating a silencing solitude for me. All emotions of my sister's marriage have died out. All the happiness of my sister's marriage has died out. It’s in this silence I write. All remaining here is the proof that someone vowed here, to be together for rest of their life. And in my country India, 95 out of 100 commitments are for life.
Well, being together for life, that is too big commitment to make, and that too with someone you know only for few months. Definitely, God must be the one choosing the compatible mates. Humanly, it’s impossible to judge any person to that perfection. Yet the arranged marriages work here, not because they are "God approved" but because they are based on mutual unspoken sacrifices. I wonder what guts it takes to make these commitments. To be committed to someone, for the rest of your life! The imagination itself runs a chill across my spine.
I have always found life mirroring me in the moments of solitude. Hence, I have always longed for them, instead of being with someone. After all we are all chasing the same thing, finding our own image in something or other. Some see it in lover's eyes; some see it in God's image. Some see it in
success; while some in money. Some see it in other's happiness; while others in their family's .I see it in silence.
During the bride's farewell in India, almost all of her relatives cry. Because we believe, that house she was born in was actually her temporary residence; her permanent house is that of her husband's. It must take a heart to call someone, a guest, whom you nurtured all your life and with a life of love and utmost affection. One must have a heart of lion to live in such belief.
But what does her farewell mean to me? Well, she is my cousin, I may have never discriminated our relationship that way, but it leaves an empty place , a void in my heart. Maybe, very small hole, but it still made the throat sunk a littler lower after it. Maybe, I just reciprocated the emotions of her parents (being emotional) or maybe they were belonging to me. The day was filled with many guffaws but still I walk a little slower than usual, carrying by boots and my coat over my shoulder, on this green grass, sometimes kicking it. Well the journey hasn't ended. Few more days are left, few more days of being in that home, where the sweet innocence of my sister's laughter filled every corner. I hope I don't have to be delusional and act as if it didn't happen, so that I won't get deaf hearing that questioning silence.
3 comments:
REALLY AWESOME......
REALLY GREAT, AWESOME
Thanks a lot for your appreciation
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