Jittery Speech: An Overwhelming Fear

 After so many days, I did which made my heart thump. I felt the excitement and life in that small little moment. The fear of speech is still there, somewhere, even after giving speeches so many times and even in front of the greatest mathematicians of India at a conference. But I believe that the fear should be there every-time, because after you conquer it you feel, you are alive, more than ever. I could see it in my friends` eyes, that happiness of being on top of the world. Usually the eyes were pretty dull before today.
But it is not only the pressure moments that make you delight, the struggle also seems beautiful after the battle is fought and won, I think that's what meant Steve Jobs when he talked about ' connecting the dots' in his Stanford Graduation Day speech. Well this experience is pretty much like saying as the proverb ' grass is greener on other side' because before the speech you are really depressed.

Facing fear is really awesome. Maybe the new dimensions, the overcoming of fear opens up, is what makes conquering fear exciting.

Daily, I see the dull faces and sloppy postures of people traveling in the Mumbai locals that I wondered whether they ever carried a dream? Or are they living their dream? Or do they still have the dream? Maybe I now feel, they do have dreams but are not charged enough or maybe vocal enough to show them. Maybe that is a better attitude to have, than being only wizard of words with no congruent actions. But discussing ideas is a good thing to do, which many feels as a stupid stuff when I talk on them. Maybe my dreams are too ambitious for a youth of my age. All my college friends are worried about is passing the college exam, watching the gals , wish if they had those gals by their side, maybe cursing the boy if any is with the gal. I am not against the second and the third thoughts. I do believe it is of no harm until character is maintained and limits are never exceeded. But I'm strictly against other two. I have never understood why people aren't motivated enough to escape themselves each time and achieve a new level of excellence. I also never understood what good is gonna happen to the frowning person when he curses other. Maybe they brought this attitude from many orthodox Indians who start doubting the character of the gals who dress in modern cloths.

Victor Frankel really said beautifully int the Foreword of his book Man's Search For Meaning that concentrate on improving your own gifts rather than on earning riches, and the richer will run toward you. Benjamin Franklin said ' Happiness is like a butterfly. When you chase it, it eludes you. But when you are unaware it comes and sits on your shoulder.'

Maybe people don't share my vision or are maybe afraid of sharing it. Well its not necessary for everyone to carry same goggles actually the difference in these set of goggles for every person makes the world beautiful, so beautiful that you need no eyes to see its color . It is the heart that sees beauty. If blind people can't see those realistic color that fills this world they do see the color of innocence, love and you see it when they talk too. God, if there is any, did a exceptional in creating this beautiful nature and every element in it. Every moment I wonder about him or his creation I feel nearer to the perfection of the world and also in me which I expect to find someday.

We as human being should keep challenging ourselves after every-time we fail and every-time our wings seem to be cut off. Paulo Coelho says that these scares alone are gonna make the circumstances scare them to hell because they will know that this is no ordinary man because when he fell down, he not only got back up but still is a proud warrior. So call upon yourself fellas. Shake yourself up. We have a chaos around us which we need to fix. But before we bring light to it, we need to bring light to ourselves.