When I first came to Mumbai from my small city, I was baffled by sheer grandeur and the beauty the city had. Yes, the beauty I’m talking about is the female beauty. Well I never had the courage to talk to the girls I came across in my life. I was always a distant observer of these beauties. I never thought I will ever find one, but, as I earlier said, we never know what will happen next in our life.
Life is so clever! It shows you that a turn is ahead in front of you and tells you that you have to take it. However, it never tells you what lies beyond that turn. Fortunately, life brought me things I didn't expect will ever come my way, but always felt that those things should come my way. Finally, the unexpected suddenly came to me, and I was caught off-guard. The unexpected was my first love.
First semester had already passed. I scored well. But the thing I was more excited about was the shuffling that took place from second semester. But, the excitement died out after the semester actually started. The life was still dull, after the shuffling. College life had bored me to death. Then came the moment which changed my life forever. Yes, that moment. That magical moment came in my life. I saw my first love.
I exactly remember the day we first met. I was there watching the street play of TRIFLES-2013 and suddenly I saw a face in the crowd and my throat sunk to my heart. I lost my nerve. I was shivering merely by the excitement of seeing her.
I saw a face. A beautiful face. A face I just can’t forget. A face that held my heart. That face is etched not just on the memories of the past, but directly on the heart. That fair face, those deep dark eyes and that laughter which brought the beautiful dimples on her face. It is so deeply carved in the heart that I can touch her and hear her laughing each time I close my eyes.
Yes, something magical had happened to me. I watched, as if I were a spectator of my own life, as my heart struggled vainly not to allow itself to be seduced by a girl who didn't belong to my world. I applauded when reason lost the battle, and all I could do was surrender and accept that I was in love.
Yes, it was love at first sight. I was ecstatic and at the same time little amazed that love found me in my life. The saying,‘Don’t go in search of love. Let love find you. That’s why it is called falling in love’, seemed true. Life seemed to have stopped. I lost my concentration from the play and all I could do was stare at her and see her laugh and cry as the actors played their chants on her innocent heart. It seemed, her innocent heart was playing chants on mine, as I cried when she cried and laughed when she laughed. It was all magical. It felt just like a movie. Time had paused. Life was also at a standstill.
They say, ‘Eyes are windows to the heart.’ I wanted our eyes to meet at least once. So that I can just show her my heart and the love it was filled spontaneously with. And when our eyes met for the first time. Boy!! The ambiance changed and the atmosphere was filled with thundering claps, as if they were cheering because our eyes met. The play had come to an end. We looked at each other till the claps faded away in cheers and hoots from the crowd. That gaze seemed to have pierced my eyes and looked straight at my heart. I thought lightening just stroked me. Maybe that’s why our eye contact was a bit long. Cupids were flying all around me. I was definitely in love.
Since then, I have ever been ecstatic and more curious to come to college. Each morning as I wake up, I am excited just by the fact that she will be there in the college too. Her love has made me a better man. The day also starts great and I’m inspired to do better in my life so that when that face finally enters my life, I am not a mess but a perfect being who would caress her with love.
So we haven’t talked yet?
Yes, you guessed it right, we haven’t talked to each other yet. I also don’t know the reason why. Maybe because I fear her denial. Maybe I am just too excited by the feeling of love. Maybe the excitement carries me day in and day out. I don’t know. But not to worry, I know someday we will and then it will be happily ever after. If not, what I felt will always be special, if not for her but for me. I can guarantee that she had changed me forever in that rather, illogical moment, when our eyes met. Without even talking, she taught me how to love. If we ever met, I know she will teach me how to live.
Each morning brings not just a chance to start this life afresh, but also a curiosity if today is the day when we’ll talk. Well to really say, I haven’t had the courage to even talk to her. I know I will have to be patient. Maybe, I will only remain her secret admirer. Maybe, life will give me a chance and bring her closer to me, maybe not. I don’t care about that, after all, sometimes it is more important to feel that we are in love than to understand that someone loves us. It is what we feel that really matters. We can just understand what someone feels about us. However, we can’t really feel that feeling that they are feeling.
Maybe this is one of the reasons for the misunderstandings between people. We always expect more from others and give less of ourselves. But anyways, I don’t ask her to love me too, but I definitely would thank her for showing me how to love. For showing me how to live.
If life brings me that moment when I will tell her my love then I will say to her,
‘We,
will laugh until we will have to cry.
We will hug right down to our last goodbye.
We'll be best we would ever be. Just for a moment you and me.
I may not get to see you as often as I would like.
I may not get to hold you in my arms all through the night.
But deep inside my heart I know this is for sure and no matter what,
I'll always love you.’
I’m waiting for the moment when we will meet and talk. I’m waiting for the first date. Don’t worry it is already planned by me and by my destiny.
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